AutoCorrect?
by Team Dragon Star
Summary: Soul's simple life takes a drastic turn the day he decides to join the rest of the world in the 21st Century. Who would have known that by just owning an iPhone, your sex life automatically gets better? Rated M :p ONE-SHOT.


**Auto-Correct?**

**I don't own Soul Eater -_- God knows I wish I did. SoMa would have been Canon since Ch1.**

...

The simple life, nothing more than the bare necessities, that's how they survived day by day. There wasn't a single computer, laptop or even a tablet in their small two bedroom apartment home. They owned one table that was used for breakfast, lunch and dinner. In their living room sit two small couches that comfortably hold three people and recliner which failed to recline anymore. Their dinosaur of a television set received only local stations plus one movie channel that could hardly be relied on. But the icing on top of this delicious chocolate cake they called a lifestyle had to be the old fashioned Rotary Death Phone whose numbers were half worn away from years of use.

So when Soul suggested they buy cell phones it took Maka a minute to gather her wits for the impending argument about why they wouldn't need them. But the fact of the matter is and has been that they'd been spending more and more time away from each other than in the past when they were inseparable. But with the decline in missions available to take up, money had become pretty tight. The assassination of the Kishin Asura was like a double edged sword to everyone whose names weren't Eruka or Free.

Money was something they'd never taken lightly. They never asked their friends for help paying bills if not for their own pride but stubbornness. They could read each-others' minds like it was no one else' business and that was how they've been able to survive for so long. But sometimes even the most stubborn people had to admit they needed some help. That's where Maka's stupid but probably only realistic idea came from.

_Just ask your parents_ she suggested. Soul never wanted to rely on someone else' power which wasn't his own or his Meister's, but given the situation, Maka forced him to swallow his pride and actually make contact with the overbearing parental figures that once upon a time controlled every breathe he took.

He lost count of how many times he dialed and hung up simply because he hated the idea of being in debt to someone, but she kept on pushing. This embarrassing act went on for days in between 2 star level missions and procrastination. Eventually Soul had just given up on the idea and let it die. It was just a spur of the moment thing anyways, no big deal. Being old fashioned, in some weird twisted alternate universe, was actually considered cool.

At least a month had passed when Maka came home one night to the sound of what she had to guess was a duet between a stringed instrument and a keyboard meshing together to form the most beautiful song she'd ever heard, not that she could tell the difference between classical and jazz. It was all just noise to her, but to the person lying on her couch it seemed like much more, like it mattered to him. It wasn't just a couple of notes to him.

She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she had to take a guess.

"That's you, right?" He poked an eye open and yawned at the sudden question. "I know I'm not good with music, but I can at least tell when my partner is playing."

"Wes." He bellowed behind another obnoxious yawn.

"Heh?"

"It's me and Wes."

"You mean _'Wes and I'_" She corrected.

"What?"

"That was terrible grammar, Soul. "

"Yeah? And you got tiny tits and fat ankles." Maka furrowed her brows at how nonchalant he was with his insult, as if it meant nothing.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" She yelled back, her temper rising.

"What, weren't we talking about shit that doesn't matter?" She clenched her one fist and grabbed the closest solid object with the other while he threw his hands over his head, waiting for impending doom.

But it never came. Instead she stomped her feet right past him and straight into her room, mumbling a few curses under her breathe.

It was too bad, 'cause he actually had some sort of good news to tell her, but she'd find that out if she wasn't too blinded by fury. All he had to do was wait for it. It would only take her, oh let's say about.

"3. 2. 1."

"SOUL!" There came the yell, and in comes the beating. It only took her three seconds to storm out of her bedroom and jump in front of his face. She screamed his name again and plunged the small white device in his face.

"What is this, Soul?" He let out a sigh of relief, no pain yet.

"It's an iPhone 4, what else?"

"I…I know that you idiot! What I meant to ask was what was it doing in my room?" His neck was beginning to hurt from the awkward way his head was leaning against the arm of the couch. Soul pushed himself up, reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a similar looking iPhone except in black.

"Y…You got two of them! Are you kidding me Soul? We can't afford these, you know that!" He gestured a hand to his ear and only confused her even more. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Ya hear the music playing right now?"  
"Yeah so what, it's you and Wes playing."  
"I and Wes" He said it for the simple reason of fucking with her and nothing else. He knew it would eat at her until she had to lash out again. He would simply watch in astonishment as it ate at her brain cells.

Maka really couldn't believe what he just said. Those forest green eyes of hers started spazzing out while her neck took to a nice 60 degree angle. Soul had just broken his Meister.

Before too long he spoke again.

"That month you were in the hospital last summer we recorded this song. I didn't want to take any credit nor any compensation for it, but whatever." Maka was quickly brought back to reality with the easy to follow explanation, a rarity for the enigma that was her Weapon.

"Oh." For a short second she was relieved, but then a quick trip down memory lane helped her temper rise once again.

"Hey, wait a second here. So while I was sitting in a hospital bed with a torn ACL, _in New Fucking Hampshire_, you were out having fun with your brother!" There wasn't really any other way to put it. Her anger scale was about ready to tip over into the red and explode all over Soul's cranium.

"At least I was there every night. I slept next to your bed in whatever uncomfortable chair I could find. Besides, Wes helped in funding your medical bills, so _we _owed him. I asked him for a favour, so he asked one of me back, fair trade. " Soul took a breath to catch up with himself before continuing his mini rant.

"And that's how we ended up with iPhones." Maka just stared at him with confusion written all over her face.

"So…While I was trapped in a box you were out making music? Is that right? And because of that we now have iPhones, which by the way are unnecessary." He ignored the obvious attempt to restart the argument and instead pitched for a low grunt instead.

"Whatever Maka, I put my phone number in there already, figure the rest out on your own. It's been a long day so…wake me up when dinner's ready." Before Maka had the opportunity to respond, his eyes had already shut.

The sound of Maka's boots pounding against the floor boards was the only thing keeping him from falling back asleep. _That _and the fact that she was practically screaming at her phone whilst chatting with Tsubaki. The fact of the matter was that he wasn't going to get back to sleep any time soon.

So Soul pushed himself up off the couch and dragged his feet all the way to his room. Once in he shut the door and placed an old jazz album on his vintage record player. He let the classy tunes lul him back to sleep.

If he had to take a good guess, he would probably say it was about 30 minutes later before he was awoken by a loud buzzing sound. He reached over to his desk where his alarm clock usually sat and smacked his hand over the top. But the buzzing didn't stop.

Soul lifted his face out from the depths of his cold and comfy pillow and searched the culprit to his awakening. If it wasn't his alarm then the bastard responsible had to be…yep. Gripping the phone in his palm he 'slid' it open and checked his message. _Maka_.

What did she want now? Didn't she have anything better to do than to disturb his siesta? Another buzz answered his question. _What now?_

"_Can you help me with something?"_

He batted an eye and typed a nonchalant "sure" as his response. He threw the phone to his side and his face back into his pillow. Too bad the Golden Rule of the day was 'Soul shall not sleep on this day', 'cause the moment he put it down it buzzed in his ear once more.

"_I mean now, please! I'm trying to move some stuff around Soul.  
I need your help. Blair isn't home so I need you."_

Death damn, if that girl ever knew how innocent she could be, hell would surely freeze over. Soul snickered to himself at the small hint of sex she probably didn't notice herself.

As quickly as he could, Soul slid his fingers over the smooth, protected touch screen. _"Gimme me a sec"_ which in reality meant _"I'm going back to bed, don't bother me". _Again he threw the phone off to his side, this time completely off his king sized bed.

He considered the next few moments of silence as a good sign. His phone didn't vibrate nor ring. Maka didn't scream nor did she shout through the thin walls that separated their rooms, Soul was finally going to get the nap he felt he deserved.

By this point he sort of forgot about the music playing in the background as he slept, and after all that's kept him awake, any sound right now was a bad thing. Complete silence was a must for him to get his cherished nap. So with every muscle in his body that felt like responding, Soul did eventually get himself out of bed and masterfully dragged himself over to the record player which he did successfully shut off without fail.

From the edge of his room Soul stared back at his bed, such a long walk back. If only he could just fall and land face first onto the comforter. That would be heaven.

But alas, today was _'Soul shall not sleep on this day'_ day, but it wasn't like the Gods were just fucking with for the hell of it. But the loud crashing sound of Maka's bedroom door slamming against the wall made him think otherwise. Because Maka slamming her door could have meant many things.

One, Maka was very angry.  
Two, Maka was absolutely Livid.  
Three, Soul should pray to Death that he survived the night.

Soul's thought process was suddenly interrupted by the creaking of his own door opening. A new way of thinking slivered on into his head. He didn't care which head of his was doing the thinking right now, but there were a couple of things he was sure of.

One, Maka had legs that went on for days.  
Two, Maka's slender body was at the same time both childish and devilishly sexy in its own way.  
And Three, Maka could pull off anything with lace. And although that was true, he really wanted to rip every string that covered her body, off.

…

Soul awoke to a fresh ray of sun and a cool breeze sweeping through his bedroom window. He didn't know what spurred the previous nights' events or why he even questioned it, but for the hell of him, he couldn't wipe that smug smirk off his face as he turned over and reached his arm under the only girl he ever dreamed waking up to. Her tender body simply begged for more attention from his professionally trained hands. Giving into his lust, Soul drove a hand over his maiden's bare breast and groped to his utmost desire. Her small body twitched from shock, he liked to call it excitement though. He still couldn't believe the incredibly kinky things his little minx was capable of. The many hickeys spread about his neck and chest were just a small reminder of last night's adventure.

Maka begged for air, the pleasure she felt from just a simple graze of her skin was too much for her to handle at the moment, her every nerve was still extremely sensitive to his touch. She had to stop this _now_ before they began Round 3. Maka titled her head to face him, she tried to open her mouth to protest but was instead met with his shark like teeth not asking, but forcing themselves against her already sopping wet lips. She sucked in a breath of air through her nose and just went with the flow of things. So what if she let another day go by without doing her chores?

Staying right there with Soul couldn't be all that bad. She gasped for air when their lips parted, his taste like sweet candy on her tongue. She slurped in whatever saliva strung between them. It surely wasn't the saltiest thing that's been in her mouth lately.

Soul kissed the top of his Meister's forehead before letting go and resting back on his side of the bed. He couldn't be more content with life right. Simple, but it had its moments. His unmistakable ear to grin was a good sign of that. But there was still one thing that he couldn't wrap his head around, and now that he could think clearly, maybe he should.

The last thing he remembered happening before his night of fun was arguing with Maka, and she's the one who took the initiative. Whatever switch was turned on in her head the previous night was an awesome one; he had to learn how to push it again.

But for now he was just going to sit back and bask in the sweet smell of their sex. Life was good right now and there was nothing that could change that…besides that infernal buzzing sound! Where in Death's name was it coming from?

Soul smacked his arm down in every direction he could until he felt something solid lying beneath his bed. He grabbed it brought it up to his face, stupid phone. He unlocked his iPhone with the slide bar and went directly to his messages.

8 Text messages from Kidd, must have gotten his number from Tsubaki or something. He quickly scrolled through them and almost instantly forgot them right after. He had…

200 messages from Black*Star! His eyes twitched at the number. Thank Death for the delete button. Thankfully Soul wasn't technologically stupid. It wasn't that hard to figure out a simple phone like this.

But there was still one unread message left to check, it was from…Maka? Heh? When did she have time to send a message in between screaming his name and pulling his hair? Oh well, what's done is done. He stared at the message with confusion written all over his face.

"_Fine, but you're going to help me afterward, deal? Oh, and your grammar still sucks."_

You're going to help me afterwards? With what? What sort of deal did he make with her? Nothing came to mind about any possible dealings done with his Meister in the past 24 hours. He considered the text being sent to the wrong person, but the whole _'your grammar still sucks'_ part told him otherwise.

Soul hesitated to open the full conversation between him and Maka, and for good reason. If he had to rate the odd factor in their conversation between 1 and 10, it would be an easy 20. This had to be some kind of freak error or something of the sort. He quickly clicked back to the home screen and found his way to the phone's settings. He worked his fingers around the different screens until he found the setting he would have to thank his phone for having. Soul did a double take just to be sure that what happened, was 100% _**NOT**_ his fault. With a stupid grin on his face he repeated in his head.

_Auto-Correction, ON. Check Spelling, ON._

It was _definitely_ not his fault. Soul found himself staring back his conversation with Maka for the next twenty minutes, still in disbelief. He never thought that Maka was the kind of girl to sell herself out like that. Then again, he never thought his iPhone would ever get him a piece of ass.

At first when he looked at it, he was more confused than anything, but as the minutes passed he just laughed. He still couldn't believe that the slender woman of a Meister lying next to him was so easily persuaded by a message like that. His eyes scanned the delicious looking skin of his Meister, he knew that something like last night would never happen again. Soul wouldn't be using the Auto-correct feature anymore so…he'd have to rely on his natural cool aura to get Maka in bed next time. Shitty pick-up lines like _**'Give me a sex'**_ don't work on simple girls like Maka twice.

…

A/N: Dedicated to my friends back at GrigoriWings Forums at **grigoriwings . yuku . com**  
Mainly **Princess Lulu** XD Because she will never let me live that typo down for as long as we live. Because I actually made that typo myself -_-

Oh right, this was written by **Zi-Dawg** btw XD Forgot this isn't my own account lol


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